My Son Daniel

After three girls, it's been interesting having a boy.

Not in the way many people expect. Personality-wise, Daniel is just Daniel. There's nothing that he does to make me say, "wow, he really acts like a boy!" Well, except for his size. He's a lot bigger than the girls, with broad stocky shoulders and far bigger hands and feet. He is not a delicate child...though he is a bit timid compared to Elaina.

It's more on us. Having a son means there are some slightly different plans for him than the girls. We feel more responsible for his future family than we do for the girls. If they leave us for a family of their own, their husbands are going to be responsible for providing. In Daniel's case, we need to guide him into being ready to provide.

Both Ben and his Dad feel differently about Daniel than they do about the girls. They love the girls. They see Daniel as an inheritance. He's the first baby where Dad came next door right away to hold him. There is something indefinably important to men about having a son. 

In a lot of ways, we're taught this is wrong and unfair in some way. That to feel differently about having sons and daughters is to belittle one or the other. This denies some of the basic realities about the jobs men and women do. They are different from each other, and there is a unique need and place for both.

The Basic Jobs of Men and Women

All along, I've told the girls that their job in life is to "take care of people and things". That's what women do really well. This basic job description covers a lot of ground. Taking care of people and things can mean nursing babies or it could mean roofing houses because that's what needs to be done. It's true whether married or unmarried, old or young, rich or poor.

A friend of ours likes to tell her little boys that a man's job is to "take care of girls and younger men." That's a pretty good description of what I expect Daniel's job will be. He's going to have the task of caring for the women in his life and guiding and being an example for the younger men. Again, this is a job for a married or unmarried man, whether he's old or young or rich or poor.

Men and women in the end are responsible to take care of each other according to their abilities. It's a pretty special gift that we are now raising both men and women. Our family feels a lot stronger and more solid, our future capabilities greater and more complete. It's not Daniel himself so much as the promise of adding another man to our number that has made having a son different than having daughters.

Daniel Is Easy To Enjoy

Daniel has been a pleasure to have. He's not an antsy kid. Right from the beginning, he's been full of joy. He started trying to smile at me when he was two weeks old and he's pretty much been like that ever since. He's a very happy little man. Ben and I pray that he will keep that joy into adulthood because that's going to make him pretty great to spend the rest of our lives with.

It is good to have a son. May he grow to be a good and wise man, a blessing to everyone around him.